I tried my hand at some graphic making of my own.

The BDSM binary is bullshit. Oppressive rape culture bullshit.


Kink can be… dirty talk, spanking, tickles, bodily fluids, no orgasm, toys, fabrics, gendered clothing, playing an animal, playing a job, playing an age, with food, temperatures, retraints, other things… and any combination of the above!

But bdsm likes to pretend it’s a submissive who gets insulted, gets spanked, gets tickled, can’t orgasm, gets fucked, plays a pet, plays a slave, plays a child, gets tied up and has to like pain, helplessness, obedience.

Or a dominant who insults, spanks, tickles, gives permission, fucks, plays owner, plays masyer, plays parent, ties up, and has to like causing paing, having power, giving orders.

And the non-bdsm’ers are the boring ones???

this blog is my new favorite blog and explains/soapboxes the reasons I’ve been having a hard time pin-pointing why I’ve been so brood-y about stepping out of the plane of existence of my kink community here in Richmond.

No joke I’m currently re-fashioning every association I’ve had with the identities I claimed for myself as a gq, black, bisexual kinky person because I really, truly did enjoy lots of what I did but not the space and attitudes of the people I did those things



Also, just so we’re clear, the problems with “community here in Richmond”

are not isolated incidents

but are rather endemic to every single BDSM community. I have


witnessed the same fuckshittery in New York City, Washington, DC, Sydney Australia, Portland, OR, Seattle, WA, San Francisco, Denver, CO, Austin, TX, Albuquerque, NM, Baltimore, MD, and Chicago, IL

just to name a few of my personal experiences

from my years of travel.

So I am very, very, VERY over hearing about how “it’s not like that where I live” or “you just don’t know what it’s like in my community” or “you just didn’t meet the right people” or “actually it’s about ethics in gaming journalism.”


See also these other two useful infographics:

  • Sensation, Story, and Felt Sense: Rolequeer and BDSM do not mix
  • 8 colorful Venn diagrams detailing why BDSM is, in fact, abuse

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Required fields are marked


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *