Think of my aging mother, m’lud

You’re a money launderer. You’re keen that, even if you get caught, you should get off with a minimal sentence. Here’s how to arrange your life:

  • Remorse
  • Good character and/or exemplary conduct
  • Serious medical condition requiring urgent, intensive or long-term treatment
  • Sole or primary carer for dependent relatives
  • Early active co-operation particularly in complex cases
  • Determination and/or demonstration of steps having been taken to address offending behaviour
  • Activity originally legitimate

These — via Susan Grossey — are from proposed UK sentencing guidelines for fraud, bribery and money laundering. . They are the planned ‘mitigating factors’ — reasons to reduce a sentence. Demonstrate tese to the court, and you’ll have an easier time of it.

The problem is, most of these are things a well-lawyered fraudster will have an easy time showing — as Susan hints, they are “a standard disguise for your professional launderer

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