Ed Miliband, Zen Master

Think Ed Miliband is passive, useless? Wrong. Jim Jepps understands: he has ascended to such mastery that he can alter history with the slightest motion:

Meanwhile Miliband watches, as if to say “I am stone. As life comes and goes about me, I am rock. Let rivers rage and thunder crash, what are these ephemeral twitiches to the aeons?”

As libraries shut, offices close, unemployment rises and riots flare across the streets all we see are Lib Dems and Tories racing round setting light to schools, and urinating on our armed forces (but only the living ones, never the dead).

Of course, Labour’s ranks are not all schooled in Miliband’s teachings. Some cluck and splutter “Do something!” They shout “Call someone a bigot! Announce a policy initiative! Issue a press release! Do something!”

Miliband stops breathing, a hint of a frown crosses his face, but just for a moment. Holding up one finger he silences them. A deathly quiet falls. “Listen.” One brave Labour acolyte steps forwards, and trembling asks “Wh… what is that sound? It’s cutting me to the quick… horrible…” she breathes, eyes wide.

“It is the weeping of my enemies.”

Also via Jim, a rant about protest organizers in London:

the left are not to blame for the brutal police tactics, they are not guilty of kettling anyone, and they are not responsible for arrests. Nonetheless they are responsible for unnecessarily putting people in situations where these things inevitably happen.

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